


warmth

by orphan_account



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Cuddles, Fluff, Insomnia, M/M, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, aka short and sweet, but only mentioned, character study tbh?, its fun sized, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 09:35:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19248517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yoo Kihyun can't sleep, but it's nothing new. Changkyun has his own way of helping.





	warmth

**minhyukkie**

ki im sorry but jooheon is coming over tonight :(

he came back a day early

**kihyoon**

that’s okay!! enjoy having ur bf home

**minhyukkie**

sleep well tonight!! u know i will :D

**kihyoon**

ha ha very funny

**minhyukkie**

be safe, yeah? don’t be stupid. pls

**kihyoon**

yes yes i will go kiss ur boyfriend

**minhyukkie**

looove u

  
  


 

Well, Kihyun is fucked. To put it nicely.

He’s been sleeping over at Minhyuk’s apartment for a week straight, with Jooheon out of town on a business trip. Kihyun usually finds other places to crash, or ignores his guilty conscious and brings someone home. That’s always his last resort, though. He feels… judged, when he brings someone home. He knows his roommate isn’t _actually_ judging him, but Changkyun has a way to stare into his soul as he has a boy trailing behind him, through their apartment.

Staying at his best friend’s house isn’t his normal routine, but there comes a point where Kihyun has to finally sleep. If he could just, actually convince his body that going three days without sleeping is okay, he would be fine. He hasn’t unlocked that secret yet, sadly.

It started in his final year of school, before leaving for university. Once Kihyun’s anxiety over grades kicked in, the insomnia came with it, just as strong. At least it gave him more time to study, right? He’s always been a glass half full kind of guy.

So Kihyun spends his late nights laying in bed scrolling through his phone, silently laughing at cat videos. On better nights, he’s productive; studying and cleaning. The worst nights he spends crying in bed, the exhaustion seeping in like mold.

It’s not like he didn’t _want_ to sleep. Kihyun just--literally lost the ability to turn his brain off.

At first it was anxiety over grades, like most pressured teens experience. His parents wanted him to get scholarships, which meant better grades, which meant more and more studying. More thinking. Normal, right?

Then college happened, and Kihyun forgot what it was like to have his head hit the pillow and fall asleep. Maybe that’s why he and Hyungwon fight so much, the envy that’s sitting deep inside Kihyun’s heart fueling most of his petty insults.

Kihyun has his methods, though. He’s tried countless solutions, from the rational sleeping pills to the unhealthy decision of drinking himself to bed. After a small… binge… during his first year of university, he realized that there’s one thing that never fails, and doesn’t put his life at risk.

He’s always been a touchy person, so Kihyun really isn’t shocked that he sleeps best with someone next to him.

That revelation spurred on a few more unhealthy decisions in Kihyun’s freshman year, but he likes to think he’s grown as a person (more like his friends had to threaten to beat his ass before he realized what he was actually doing, bringing home a different boy every night).

Kihyun finds himself at Minhyuk’s apartment more often than not, but Minhyuk has Jooheon now. His sweet, dumpling boyfriend. Kihyun really likes him, so he’s started to back off a bit. Not like anything actually happened between him and Minhyuk, but it’s weird stealing someone’s boyfriend away to cuddle them to sleep.

Sometimes, he’ll end up at the shared pseudo-frat house that Hoseok, Hyungwon, and Hyunwoo share with some other sports guys. Kihyun is welcome there, he knows, but there’s always a certain amount of awkwardness in the air when he shows up on their doorstep at midnight.

The one person who’s off limits, though? Im Changkyun. Kihyun's roommate.

Not that there’s anything wrong with him--far from it, actually.

Changkyun is… perfect. He’s the perfect roommate, and a good friend. Kihyun likes to think that after a year living together, they’re friends. There’s always been a certain distance between them, though, like Changkyun is actively trying to be civil. Like it doesn’t come naturally to be nice to Kihyun.

It stings, sometimes.

Kihyun chooses not to dwell on it, and he takes the roommate-slash-friend situation at face value. He’s never been an insecure person, so he guesses (hopes) that if Changkyun secretly can’t stand him, he would be made aware.

No time for self doubting, right? Hah.

He doesn’t want to find a new roommate, though, so Changkyun is off limits.

No matter how late it is, how exhausted Kihyun is, he never asks Changkyun for help. He knows it’s stupid, and mostly originating from fear, but he _really_ doesn’t want to fuck up the “you don’t annoy me and I don’t mind living with you” thing they have going on.

Kihyun’s insomnia will grant him a wish, sometimes. On a rare night, he’ll be so tired that he can actually fall asleep alone, wrapped in a heavy blanket. When that miracle happens, he usually wakes up a few hours later, feeling like death incarnate.

 

-

 

This is how Kihyun ends up on his couch at the wonderful hour of 3 am. Minhyuk is busy, Kihyun feels too shitty to go out, and at least he slept well last night. A shitty house hunting show is playing on low volume, a bowl of popcorn in his lap. He occasionally tries to land a piece of popcorn in his mouth, mostly failing.

_Hey, at least Barbara got the master bedroom she wanted. Good for her._

That sweet, sweet college life.

Changkyun wished him a good night a few hours ago, making sure he was okay. Kihyun agreed, as always. _Yup, perfectly fine. Touch starved and running on 45 minutes of sleep on average. Just fine._

Maybe he should go back to his sleep specialist, see if there’s any new pill he can try. They always work, but stop within the four week range, ever so annoying. Kihyun has a theory that consists of his blood cells planning a coup against his mortal body, finally freeing themselves and becoming sentient.

“Kihyun?” Changkyun calls from the hallway. Kihyun _almost_ sends his popcorn flying, managing to catch it in time.

“Jesus fuck, Kyun. You scared me! Why are you still awake?” Kihyun turns his head to see Changkyun standing at the edge of room, wrapped in a blanket. His black hair is defying gravity, a messy shadow on top of his head. He inches towards the couch, his own version of a sentient white blood cell.

“Not still. Just now. Scooooch.” Changkyun mysteriously responds, pushing at Kihyun’s leg.

“Wha--” As soon as he moves his leg down, Changkyun plops his burrito body down, his head in Kihyun’s lap.

Kihyun’s arms are frozen, hovering a few inches above the _head that is currently in his lap._

“Shhh… loud brain. Can hear you thinking. M’sleepy.” Changkyun mumbles into Kihyun’s thigh. He reaches an arm up, grabbing Kihyun’s wrist and bringing it to Changkyun’s hair.

_What the fuck._

“Changkyun--you should, uh, bed? Yours? Your bed.” Kihyun keeps his hand on Changkyun’s head, not daring to move an inch.

“You need to sleep, I want you to sleep. That’s easy. We can talk later. Sleeep _._ G’night.” Changkyun nuzzles into his makeshift thigh-pillow.

Well, Kihyun typically doesn’t fall asleep sitting up on his couch, but none of this is typical, and Changkyun’s hair is _really_ soft. So he does the normal thing. The rational thing.

He shifts to get more comfortable, and Changkyun lets out a small noise, curling up tighter. Kihyun’s instincts kick in, and he runs his hands through _his roommate’s_ hair.

Within moments, he’s asleep.  


 

-  


 

The morning sunshine acts as Kihyun’s alarm, as usual.

He begins to stretch from the uncomfortable position he slept in, but the weight on his lap stops him.

Kihyun glances down, and sees more sunshine.

_Changkyun. Im Changkyun fell asleep on me. My perfect, off limits roommate fell asleep on me._

“Ugh, I forgot you wake up at the ass-crack of dawn. Please go back to sleep. Pleaaaaase.” Changkyun’s voice is deeper than usual in the morning, and this is the first noticeable time it has an actual effect on Kihyun.

Make no mistake, Changkyun has effect Kihyun in so, so many ways. The boy enjoys walking around the apartment in nothing but boxers.

Cause? Unknown. Effect? Kihyun squeaking and slamming his door shut.

Changkyun in general is an undoubtedly attractive boy. Kihyun, the blindly prideful bisexual he is, noticed it day one. When “Jooheon’s friend” showed up at his doorstep, a small, dimpled smile on his face, Kihyun thanked every god that his roommate wasn’t an ugly, stinky man.

Instead, he was blessed with a cute boy who cleans up after himself, and doesn’t mess with Kihyun’s things. A boy who sends him memes randomly, and attempts to cook for Kihyun when he knows he has back-to-back classes. Changkyun definitely fails, every time they give up in the end and order out. It’s _cute_ though.

When did he start thinking it was cute?

“Helloooo? Earth to roomie? The gears in your head are hurting mine.” Changkyun _whines._

Kihyun looks down, and meets eyes with the boy in his lap. Changkyun has rolled onto his back, and is looking up at Kihyun.

“Sorry--I, tired. I’m tired.” Kihyun tries, and fails, to explain.

What he can’t explain, though, is when he began to think his roommate is cute.

Changkyun makes a noise that resembles another whine before he speaks. “You’re supposed to sleep when you cuddle. We’re cuddling. Why aren’t you sleeping?”

Kihyun hopes the surprise in his mind isn’t as evident on his face.

“Wh-what do you mean? How do you? What?” Kihyun is a linguistics major, believe it or not. Bachelor’s degree in English and everything.

“Ki, it’s been almost two years. You think after that long I haven’t heard you awake at 4 am? Or heard you give up at 2 am and call Minhyuk? I’ve seen the sleeping pills you have. I know they don’t work anymore, too,” Changkyun sits up, crossing his legs on the couch. “I also know that you don’t sleep unless someone’s next to you, and that I don’t sleep well knowing that you have to drive to your classes while sleep deprived.”

_Has he always been this smart?_

“Have I always been this dumb?” Kihyun asks after a moment of stunned silence.

Changkyun laughs with his entire body. _Sunshine._

“Kinda, yeah. Did you know I’m the top of my class? I know things,” he says, still laughing. “You, however, do not know things. Like how I’ve been flirting with you for at least a month now.”

“Did you just call me dumb?” Yup, that’s what Kihyun is going to focus on.

Changkyun is a giggly morning person, apparently. It makes Kihyun’s eyes hurt. Why did he never notice?

“Yeah, I called you a lil’ dumb. Just a bit. I know I’m bad at flirting, but, wow. Either I’m a lot worse than I think I am, or everything flew over your head.” Changkyun says everything with a smile, his head turned slightly to the side.

Kihyun left the blinds cracked last night, and he’s never been more proud of himself. The early morning sun has found its full glory in their living room, casting a glow across Changkyun’s face. The only word that comes to mind when Kihyun looks at him is _soft._

“Can we, uh… Can we talk more about the flirting thing? And me not knowing? Because that’s all my brain can really think about right now.” Kihyun turns his head away from the-- _ugh, soft--_ boy in front of him.

“We could do that, or we could keep cuddling and go back to sleep, ‘cuz I’m pretty sure it’s like, 7 am, and I’m tired.” Changkyun says.

Kihyun has never been more tempted to do anything in his entire life.

“Just give us like, five minutes, yeah? Let me get my brain sorted, then sleep.” Kihyun leans further into the couch, trying not to show how exhausted he is.   
Changkyun copies him, leaning as well, and nods his head.

“Well, lets see. You’re cute, and smart, and cook really well, and laugh at my stupid jokes. Remember when I sent you that picture of a frog with a cowboy hat? You laughed at that. Wanna know who else laughed at that? No one.”

“It was funny! The frog was funny!” Kihyun defends himself.

Cackling, Changkyun swats at Kihyun’s knee, and continues.

“I realized a little while ago that I’m not straight, you’re not straight, so, boom. Flirting happened. Except I didn’t think you liked me at all, so I got sad sometimes, So then I tried to stay away from you, but we live together, so maybe I’m not that smart. Vicious cycles and such, two months later, cuddles.” Changkyun semi-explains. He’s doing this, small slow blink towards Kihyun, like he has to focus on keeping his eyes open.

“I thought you didn’t like me? I thought… sometimes, it seemed like you really didn’t like me. Like I was annoying you? Your smile seemed forced, at times. That sounds stupid.” Kihyun might be a lot more idiotic than he thought he was.

Changkyun winces a bit before responding. “That was when I got sad, usually. Or when I wanted to kiss you. I can’t tell you exactly which one it was. Sad, I would avoid you, usually. Which sucked a lot more than I thought it would.”

“So… You like me?” Kihyun asks. Stupidly.

“Yes, dumb-dumb. I thought we had that part covered. Are you more sleep deprived than you seem?” As soon as he says that, Changkyun yawns.

Kihyun laughs, and even _he_ can tell that he sounds tired.

More than he usually does, at least.

“Can it be time for more cuddles, now? I don’t have class until 4. That’s a really, really long nap.” Kihyun responds, finally giving into the yawn that’s been tempting his body.

Changkyun opens the blanket wrapped around himself, flapping his arms.

“Cuddles, up for grabs. Reservation for Yoo Kihyun!” Changkyun falls backwards, his head just below the opposite arm of their couch.

Kihyun realizes it is their couch, actually. Not just his, and not Changkyun’s. They went to the thrift store and picked out this couch together, because it was the most comfy and least stained one they could find. They split the cost of this couch, and now they’re going to fall asleep together on this couch.

Okay. That’s fine.

Kihyun lets himself fall, welcoming the soft blanket and the immediate warmth he feels seeping into his bones. He wiggles up a little bit, so his head is even with Changkyun’s chest. Why is his chest so soft? Ugh.

Squishing his cheek against Changkyun’s chest, he shoves his legs under Changkyun’s as well.

Changkyun laughs, the puff of air tickling the top of Kihyun’s head.

“Comfy?” Changkyun asks. His arm tightens around Kihyun’s shoulder, his thumb rubbing circles against his shoulder.

Kihyun hums, soaking in the warmth. He hasn’t felt this comfortable in a very long time, and he absolutely never wants to move from this spot, next to Changkyun.

“Less words, more sleepy time.” Kihyun mumbles, wiggling impossibly closer to the warmth radiating from the soft boy beside him.

“Ahh, you’re learning already. See? You’re smart. Goodnight, angel.” Changkyun speaks into Kihyun’s hair.

Kihyun feels a feather-light kiss on his head, but when he’s asked about it, months later, he lies and says he was asleep already, saving Changkyun the embarrassment of having to admit it.

Kihyun falls asleep with a smile on his face for the first time since high school.

**Author's Note:**

> i put a surprising amount of effort into this, while also putting off all my other longer projects just for some good ol' fashioned fluff. thank you for reading!! you can find me on twitter @tiramisuT_T


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